Friday 28 August 2009

crabbydad - Better Call Encyclopedia Brown...

 

Your email updates, powered by FeedBlitz

 
Here are the latest updates for dadgregator@gmail.com

"crabbydad" - 1 new article

  1. Better Call Encyclopedia Brown...
  2. More Recent Articles
  3. Search crabbydad

Better Call Encyclopedia Brown...

The Grovester shits about three times a day -- one or two "on the road," during his walks, and then another couple in the backyard. Until recently, it's been pretty easy to find the ones in the yard and bag 'em up. Usually, I'll see him all hunched over into that I'm-pinchin'-a-big'n, doggy question mark stance but sometimes I miss it and have to go a-huntin'.





In the past week, though, an assload of leaves have started falling into the yard -- brown, curly leaves. I think there must be a B.M. tree nearby 'cuz now everything looks like a fucking turd. Tonight, the Old Lady and I couldn't find his late-night leavings and we were trying to sniff the lil' smokies out.



That's when I came up with my idea for a dogshit-locating detective show. Each week, the private dick would show up at a different yard and try to hunt down the missing dumps.

Okay, it's a shitty idea, but it gave me an opportunity to come up with some half-assed, dogshit-related detective show puns, so indulge me.

Here are the potential show names, so far...

Turder She Wrote
The Rockford Piles (or as Mr. Z amended, The Rockfart Piles)
Barna-B.M. Jones
Poo-lice Story
Hill Street Poos
Homicide: Turd on the Street
Nancy Poo (Miss O came up with that one)

and my favorite, Magnum P.U., starring Tom Smellit.

Holy shit, I think the fumes have gotten to me. I need to wash my hands and get some sleep.



More Recent Articles





Click here to safely unsubscribe now from "crabbydad" or change your subscription or subscribe

 
Unsubscribe from all current and future newsletters powered by FeedBlitz
Your requested content delivery powered by FeedBlitz, LLC, 9 Thoreau Way, Sudbury, MA 01776, USA. +1.978.776.9498

 

Wednesday 26 August 2009

crabbydad - 2 new articles

 

Your email updates, powered by FeedBlitz

 
Here are the latest updates for dadgregator@gmail.com

"crabbydad" - 2 new articles

  1. Just Call Me Hairy Howldini...
  2. One Dog, No Cup...
  3. More Recent Articles
  4. Search crabbydad

Just Call Me Hairy Howldini...

I think I know what my next job is gonna be... Dog Magician!








One Dog, No Cup...

I hit some sort of dog-owner milestone today.





I pulled a clump of shit-caked, long grass strands outta the dog's asshole after he hunched and strained all over the backyard for about five minutes trying to pinch the motherfucker off.

From this day forth, please greet me by shaking my left hand.



More Recent Articles





Click here to safely unsubscribe now from "crabbydad" or change your subscription or subscribe

 
Unsubscribe from all current and future newsletters powered by FeedBlitz
Your requested content delivery powered by FeedBlitz, LLC, 9 Thoreau Way, Sudbury, MA 01776, USA. +1.978.776.9498

 

Monday 24 August 2009

crabbydad - Right Back at Ya...

 

Your email updates, powered by FeedBlitz

 
Here are the latest updates for dadgregator@gmail.com

"crabbydad" - 1 new article

  1. Right Back at Ya...
  2. More Recent Articles
  3. Search crabbydad

Right Back at Ya...

I've gotten my second comment from 家出, in as many days...

"最近様々なメディアで紹介されている家出掲示板では、全国各地のネットカフェ等を泊り歩いている家出少女のメッセージが多数書き込みされています。彼女たちはお金がないので掲示板で知り合った男性とすぐに遊びに行くようです。あなたも書き込みに返事を返してみませんか"

I ran it through an online Kanji translator and this is what I got...

"Net cafe in nationwide various places etc. stay and are written a lot of messages of the walking runaway girl in the leaving home bulletin board introduced with various media recently. It seems to go to play at once with the man who got acquainted on the bulletin board because they do not have money. Will you also return writing the answer?"

All I have to say is, Walking Runaway Girl -- do NOT got to play at once with the man who got acquainted on the bulletin board! Not only do he not have money, but I'm guessing he got acquainted on bulletin board with many walking runaway girls in nationwide various places. Please, do not return writing the answer... him. Stay away from leaving home bulletin board and various media.

Trust me, you'll thank me later.




More Recent Articles





Click here to safely unsubscribe now from "crabbydad" or change your subscription or subscribe

 
Unsubscribe from all current and future newsletters powered by FeedBlitz
Your requested content delivery powered by FeedBlitz, LLC, 9 Thoreau Way, Sudbury, MA 01776, USA. +1.978.776.9498

 

Friday 21 August 2009

crabbydad - Non-Dog post...

 

Your email updates, powered by FeedBlitz

 
Here are the latest updates for dadgregator@gmail.com

"crabbydad" - 1 new article

  1. Non-Dog post...
  2. More Recent Articles
  3. Search crabbydad

Non-Dog post...

Conversation this morning, as I dropped Miss O off at camp:





ME: [after spraying her with bug spray] Okay, don't forget to put more on in the afternoon.

MISS O: Who are you calling a moron?!




My work is complete.



More Recent Articles





Click here to safely unsubscribe now from "crabbydad" or change your subscription or subscribe

 
Unsubscribe from all current and future newsletters powered by FeedBlitz
Your requested content delivery powered by FeedBlitz, LLC, 9 Thoreau Way, Sudbury, MA 01776, USA. +1.978.776.9498

 

Tuesday 18 August 2009

crabbydad - The Ghost Chicken and Mr. Grover...

 

Your email updates, powered by FeedBlitz

 
Here are the latest updates for dadgregator@gmail.com

"crabbydad" - 1 new article

  1. The Ghost Chicken and Mr. Grover...
  2. More Recent Articles
  3. Search crabbydad

The Ghost Chicken and Mr. Grover...

The Grovernator hasn't been drinking as much water, lately, as we think he should -- especially since it has been so fucking hot and humid that my fucking Balzac has been hanging to the ground like a leatherette kilt. He seems to dig ice cubes but he's not lappin' up the agua fria very much.





So, the Old Lady found some dog forum on the ingernachts that suggested:

You can get your dog to drink more water by adding low sodium chicken broth to it to enhance the flavor.

Not a bad idea, actually. So we poured a little chicken water in there and this is what happened:




We're guessing he smelled the chicken and was just searching around for the goddamn hunka meat. It went on for about 10 minutes... until all the chicken squeezins were splashed all over the kitchen floor. The whole house smells like a fucking poultry bathhouse now.

The dude's either brilliant or he's a fucking dumbass... I can't tell. We'll see what happens tomorrow when I dip the end of his tail in some Clamato.




More Recent Articles





Click here to safely unsubscribe now from "crabbydad" or change your subscription or subscribe

 
Unsubscribe from all current and future newsletters powered by FeedBlitz
Your requested content delivery powered by FeedBlitz, LLC, 9 Thoreau Way, Sudbury, MA 01776, USA. +1.978.776.9498