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Washington, Lincoln, Snow Miser -- All on My Shit-List....
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Washington, Lincoln, Snow Miser -- All on My Shit-List....

I smell a snow day shitstorm a-blowin'. And not just any snow day, mind you. It's a snow day that just happens to be preceding the annual five day Presi-motherfucking-dent's Day No-School-a-Poolooza. That's right. Here in mid-Michigan, we celebrate the births of our forefathers by CLOSING THE GODDAMN SCHOOLS! Why? Because the founders of our country would most certainly NOT want any education taking place on the arbitrarily assigned date of their births! Why? 'Cuz they were dicks, that's why.

So what's another day piled on top of the other five, right? Shit, let's just skip Thursday too and go for a whole fucking week! Because there's nothing I like more than trying to actually get "work" done for my "job" so we can "eat" while running up the fucking stairs every 10 minutes to break up an argument, make some lunches, find out what the shit just broke, make some snacks, walk the dog, find out why the fuck it's so goddamned quiet and then make dinner.

Oh, and the Spawnage both have dentist appointments tomorrow, too, which will be GREAT! Driving to Mason in 10 feet of drifting snow. Think I'll have to break the Taun-Tauns out of the corral for that one. Well, maybe the Old Lady can pitch and help in so I can--What's that?! She has meetings all day and she's teaching a night class? FLAARRGNNBBLLLAAAARRGGGGGHHH!

My only hope is that my plaque-ridden brain will be impaled by the giant icicle hanging down in front of the house. In fact, I'm going to go stand below it now. Where's that broom handle...

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