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Portrait of the Fartist As A Young Girl...
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Portrait of the Fartist As A Young Girl...

So, the Old Lady called tonight, conveniently right before she was supposed to get home to help out with the spawnage, and informed me that she was going out to tip a few back with a couple of her fancy professor cronies. Which is fine, mind you -- I'd do the same if'n I had a crony.

But that meant that I, and I alone, had to feed the li'l rugrats, bathe them, help with the homework and the piano practicing and all that other nighttime bullshit that "parents" have to "do." So, while I was getting dinner ready, Mr. Z was finishing up his homework and Miss O was drawing at the table. I popped by to see what she was up to, and found her finishing up this so-cute-it'll-make-you-shit self portrait:

Isn't that the shit? Her new thing is making herself jump up in the air in all her pictures, and she's started drawing herself looking off to the side like that a lot. Classic. And it looks surprisingly like her, to boot. Except for the giant three-fingered hands and the club-foot.

So, I get back to fixing up the vittles, and Mr. Z comes waltzing in and, before long, the two of them are flipping their lids and yelling at each other. Miss O said, "Dad! Mr. Z drew a mean picture of me!" He replied that, in fact, it wasn't mean and that it looked exactly like her. This is what he drew:

I totally had to hold in a giant blow-snot-outta-my-nose-laugh 'cuz I think the drawing is fucking hilarious. It doesn't look anything like Miss O, of course, but it is such a perfect older brother making fun of his younger sister's drawing drawing that it was hard not give him props for it.

It all evened out in the end, though, as Miss O brought Mr. Z to the verge of tears after she jinxed him during dinner and refused to say his name.

Payback's a bitch, Mr. Z.